2000 V70 XC turbo
may need a battery, and the only reason why I’m thinking it’s a starter instead is that the windows and lights work and it’s not trying to turn over like “click click click click click” it goes “ahhhhclick? .....cliiiiiiii-eh screw this I’ll try agin later-ccck”

It starts as soon as you touch the jumper cables to the battery, BUT even after driving 20+ mins to a destination.. turn it off and it go to restart it, it goes right back into the questionable starting method it’s decided to adopt.

I feel like im going crazy, I’m usually able to figure things like this out without having to go and get extra parts I’ll wind up not needing, so f anyone’s ever experienced this and figured it out I will be so relieved lol

 

Have you gone through the normal checks, ie, check the earth on battery, both on battery and where it connects to body, the condition of the battery, is it holding a charge, by the way you say that if you jump it it will start and then last for 20 mins I would say the battery is suspect. If you put a multimeter on it, it should give over 14 volts. Try charging the battery until it has a full charge

 

If it starts normally with a jump then you can assume its a battery. If it still doesn't crack properly with a jump then you can either have a cable issue (battery to ground/ battery to starter) or a possible starter issue. Does the voltage drop way down when you try to crank? First step would be to really clean all the cable ends - battery posts and starter. Look for any signs of bubbled insulation or corrosion (bubbles indicate heat from some resistance - say from a bad connection).

 

Batteries are cheap, so I would probably buy one without much concern in this case, but you can have them load tested. You could also get a volt meter and just see what voltage is resting, running, and cranking. resting should be about 12.5; running about 14, cranking maybe 10.


so the problem you have is cranking, and you would say if the voltage cranking is below 10 the battery has got to go. Since it starts with a jump, I think this will turn out to be the case.