Heya,
Ok so my front most fan is not working at all - ever. Would this cause me to have 0 AC or is it just one piece of the puzzle?

 

The radiator fan is interlinked to the AC system.

With the AC off the rad fan will turn on when it reaches a preset temperature. When the AC compressor clutchis energised the ECU turns on the rad fan and switches it off when vehicle speed reaches 31mph.

Whether or not this is the reason for the AC not working I think you should invest in a coolant switch to prevent a possible overheat of the coolant with the damage that is likely to occur. It may also kick start the AC.