I got it started , I had seemingly gone over everything in circles. connecting a test lamp to the coil fixed it, I think I had a poor connection there causing no spark but tracing the issue is difficult.... now it works. it cold be a bad powerstage transistor thats flakey, I guess. I guess I can assume it has its pulse now and its not caused by a bent up flexplate , because that wouldn't be so intermittent.

this page helped a great deal note all the links at the bottom of his page. great info there.

https://www.prancingmoose.com/volvorelays.html#9130270