I have a 2010 volvo XC60 T6 3.0 I'm about to change the ABS,BCM that I got from the junk yard and i was wondering if i really have to go to the dealership for the BCM reload
or can do it over USB? does it really have to be by VIDA at the dealership?

 

VIDA is required to program any module. And a used one may not work.

 

another option is to have your existing ABS board rebuilt - check out services like Xemodex and Midwest ABS to see if your symptoms match up to the common faults they can repair. That is of course assuming your controller board is the cause of the problem...