Yes indeed, I have lurked off and on and am at the point of needing to seek the collective wisdom of the board.

Here goes: I have a 96 850 Sportswagon that needs more attention than I can give it. I could go into details of good, bad and ugly, but let's leave that for an interested party question.

Is there a demand for a sub 200k green Sportswagon, especially if I put a REALLY low price on it? Car is located in central Nebraska.

mods: please forgive my forwardness in this enquiry. I am hoping that someone will look upon my car like an orphan puppy.

 

Very hard to tell without knowing what "attention" it needs or what a "REALLY" low price is. You need to provide more details.

 

Now that you asked:

Good -
no overall rust. Spot on the rear gate near the license plate
All electronics work (windows, sunroof, mirrors)
Car still goes like a raped ape when asked to

Bad:
needs valve job
transmission creeps forward when parked
AC dead
Cruise dead
Suspension iffy (replaced all shocks, but it doesn't handle like a sportscar)
Driver's seat covering is shot

Recent replacements:
cabin fan
rear bushing
Rear calipers & pads
shocks

Would I be unreasonable to place an ad here for $500, come and get it?

 

What do you mean by "valve job"? Is the head shot due to broken timing belt, or do the valves just tick?

 

It burns oil when idling and running. It also leaks some oil. I guess to be more specific it seems to need a new set of valve guides.

The valves do not have a noticeable clatter AFAIK.