I think my DEM is bad, so I removed the 2 hex bolts.

I have no idea how to fully disconnect the 2 wiring harnesses.
Do I just yank on them as hard as I can?
Is there a release tab somewhere?

 

Ok, here is a picture of the 2 clips.
Notice that tab/latch looking thing near the top of the harness base.
I tried pressing and pulling on it, but it didn't budge at all.
So, I can't even tell if that tab thingy is a latch or not.

 

Press the release to release the catch and pull the connector off. The release is the part you mention where the wiring goes into the connector.

You can put a small, flat screwdriver in there and rotate it to unlatch. Be careful not to break it though.

 

Sticking a screwdriver in the upper hole and twisting seems like i would only break the tab, b/c I do not understand what the latching mechanism actually is.

 

Well, sticking a screwdriver in the tab and trying to pry it up broke the tab right off.

I re-installed the DEM (which was a bitch to realign while holding that loose metal gasket piece in place) and will see if a mechanic can remove the DEM.
But, with a broken tab, how much of a problem is that going to be??

 

No problem at all if it stays connected.

 

Replaced the entire AOC and DEM controller. 675$ used and refurbed from Erie Volvo with lifetime warranty. Not to shabby. Installed and used gl-5 80w for the gear oil. My question is even though the part came off the exact same vehicle, do I still have to flash the ecu? I'm still getting the anti/skid service required message even after resetting the ecu by disconnecting the battery. And it's hard to tell if it's actually working without slippery conditions. I also have to replace my yaw sensor and a tone ring. Would those defects mess with the operability at all?

 

So awd isn't engaging, anti skid service required message is still up. Tried to climb a small hill and front tires spun but limited power from the back. Is a software update needed when changing out the Sox and DEM unit? Or could this be something totally different? When I had it on the lift the rear tires would spin but barely any power to them. So I'm not thinking the angle gear is gone.