For those of you who might have seen my post on my thread about the timing belt/cam swap...

my mother passed away suddenly on sunday night. I talked to the coroner, who said she had a massive stroke and probably felt little, if any pain. I've had to arrange her funeral, go through her stuff, get an estate attorney, etc.

I'm holding up as well as can be expected so far. I have WAY too much to do to allow myself time to grieve right now. I'll do that once things are handled.

The viewing is Thursday night, and the Funeral is Friday morning.

 

Sorry to hear about your Mom.

As a person who has lost both parents, I know what it feels like. But sometimes the best thing is for you to keep busy with work or anything that will take your mind off the loss. Only time will really heal, but I get a tear in my eye just writing this and thinking about my parents.

May God be with you.

 

Thanks Jim. I'm surprisingly at peace with this right now. I'm sure that tomorrow and friday will be difficult for me, to say the least. Really though, we could ALL be so lucky as my mom: she had no previous illness that slowly wasted her away. I talked to her last Friday and she was feeling fine. Going through her stuff today, i came across a BUNCH of old stuff - photos, ticket stubs, etc. Brought back a LOT of good memories. I may not have my mom here anymore, but nobody can take away a lifetime of great memories.

Another thing I have to say: my mom's side of the family is WAY short on manpower to provide pall bearers, but I have my 5 plus me. My mother would get a huge kick out of this: the pall bearers are going to be me, 4 of my good friends from high school (one of which is female) and my dad.

Now, My mom and dad were married for 13 years, and divorced in 1977. My dad has been with his second wife for 32 years now, and when i called him sunday night around 10 pm (he lives in greenville, SC, about 700 miles away) the first thing he said was "let me go get some sleep so i can get on the road first thing in the morning." he got here monday evening and has been around for any help I have needed. When I asked him if he'd be a pall bearer, he said yes with no hesitation at ALL.

My father is a class act.

 

So sorry for your loss.

 

Sorry for your loss. There is nothing anyone can say to make things better and nobody can understand the feelings unless they experience it themselves.
Hang in there.

Not to get religious here but I firmly believe you will see your mother again.

 

Sorry for your loss...
It's worse when you arnt expecting it and its sudden.

 

Sorry to hear of your loss. Don't be afraid to ask others for help. We all need help sometime.

 

Thanks guys. Made it through tonight - now for tomorrow. I'm having the casket closed for the funeral tomorrow, so tonight was the last time I will see her. Saying goodbye, then walking away and not looking back while knowing i will never see her again is probably one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life.

 

Sorry for your loss!
It does get better with time. I went through it with one of my parents not that long ago it is tough but we all have our own way to deal with it. You will find yours and run with it.

 

Thanks Tech. I'll probably get back to working on the car on Saturday. Going back to a regular routine will go a long way towards helping me work through things.

 

If you need to contact this weekend about the car I should be around on sat. On sunday I will be at work working on my own car.

 

Funeral is finally over. Unfortunately, there were two things i wanted from her casket that i TOLD the funeral home I wanted. They buried them with her. When i called to ask about it, they didnt even offer an apology, and said if i wanted the stuff back, id have to essentially have to pay to have her exhumed and buried again. Customer service at it's best. I'm talking to the owner of the home when he gets back in town on tuesday and giving him 2 options: he can eat the costs and return what I asked for or 2) he can eat the cost of the funeral, because if they arent going to get the things i wanted back, i wont pay them a dime.

 

That is ridiculous... If they dont want to cover anything... I'd be finding a lawyer...

 

It is truely sad the way some people treat others, especially when they know you are down/suffering. Mean People Suck!

 

I'd have to agree. That being said - I'm meeting with the owner of the funeral home on tuesday. he has been out of town for the last week spending time with his daughter, who has terminal cancer.

The owner and his wife were good friends of my mothers, so I am hoping that he is as upset as I am about this and will do what's right. I'm not going to ask them to exhume her and rebury her over a watch and a ring, but it's still something that I wanted to keep that I am never going to get back.

 

I have heard of many stories where employees of funeral homes taking personal belongings like that. Kind of like hospitals do. Hopefully that didn't happen.

 

that would be one explaination for the bad service wouldn't it???

That would give me enough motivation to begin sniffing around the place a little more....

well... maybe not motivation... but paranoia at least.

 

Well, as I said, my mother was good friends with the owner and his wife. They were out of town all last week visiting their daughter, who has cancer.

I will see what he has to say later this afternoon, after i go by the lawyer's office.

 

So sorry for your loss,

For what it is worth I would consider asking for those things back. You have to decide whether they have enough value to you for the exhumation and if you mother would have wanted you to have them.

IMHO, do not pay the balance to the Funeral Home until you hear from the owner. It is a SAD state of affairs when this kind of thing is happening all over the country. To paraphrase RSPI "EVIL people suck"

I hope your mother can rest in peace and you can find some closure on all this. You might consider taking a long drive in the brick, I find a trip with no particular destination to be very relaxing and healthy.

 

I'd LOVE to take a long drive in the brick, but it still isn't back together from the timing belt/water pump/cam swap. I have NO intentions of paying the owner a dime until we have SOME resolution on this stuff. Hell, I would file bankruptcy before id give them anything at this point.

I dont think I want to go through exhuming her to get her watch and ring back. as much as I would have liked to have had it, I think it would be wrong to do that to her.

I went by the funeral home yesterday, and evidently he only comes in between 8 and 2 on tuesday and thursday, so i missed him. I'll go back by on thursday and see what we can do.