okay so recently i purchased a 95 850 turbo. For the first week or so it drove fine and then started pissing out smoke out of the tailpipe. I was able to fix that. Yet the other day I was driving it and it was stuttering and backfiring like a **** ( sounded like it had anti-lag). I went WOT and it was running perfectly fine and then just a loud explosion and completely died. I couldn't start it or anything. when I cranked it over it literally shot the dipstick out with a giant puff of smoke and the same problem happened with the oil cap. I'm at a complete loss of ideas at what could be wrong, please help lol

 

smoke from the dipstick usually means you have too much crankcase pressure. That usually mean one of two things: 1) clogged PCV system or 2) blown head gasket. Only other thing I can think of is you may have blown the timing belt. (which could account for the no start). First check if the timing belt is intact, then a compression test may be in order.

 

Welcome to the forum Kwall

I'd check the timing and timing belt as it sounds like it's backfiring since it was able to create enough pressure to blow the dipstick and oil cap off the engine.

What was it that caused and cured the problem with the smoke out the tailpipe ??

 

as to the smoke out the tail pipe problem im not entirely sure what was wrong. For the past couple of months I have been out of state so my uncle (ASE master certified tech for 37 years) has been tinkering with the car and was able to fix the massive oil consumption/smoke out of the tailpipe. According to him when he test drove it, he beat the crap out of it for a couple of hours and saw no problems with the car. But I will check the pcv system and timing today and let you know my findings

 

Do a compression test please.

Looks and sounds like you have a completely plugged PCV system.

 

You may have burned a hole in a piston, and I suppose the blown head gasket is also likely. Compression test will reveal some level of internal engine trouble. If it was mine, I would probably look at the timing belt and see how pretty it is.

 

figured out the problem to the no start situation. Destroyed distributor

 

I was going to suggest checking the spark plug order.

 

I would suggest looking at the cam seal behind the distributor. I have a car here that the distributor caught on fire internally, due to the oil leak from the cam. Those cam seals walk out over time, and in fact if you just tap it back in it may work fine. New seals for that are about $5, so it's a very cheap fix. I think that is the root problem on your distributor as well. The other cam seal (behind the cam sensor) does the same thing sometimes.

 

I love the pic of the distributor cap. I also know that the OEM Bosch caps have the plug number stamped on the plastic, and even with that, I've managed to cross wires! What's needed next is a piece of masking tape on side of the engine nearest the timing belt cover marked "#1 Cylinder Here"

Its also a good idea to inspect the wires - I've found wires that looked clean and fresh on the outside only to find corrosion on a connection point.

 

OP may be lucky, or maybe not..

Has OP considered the blown-up dist rotor (very impressive BTW!) might be a symptom rather than the ultimate problem?

Whatever created so much crankcase pressure that it was pumping oil out of every engine orifice (blowing out the dist cam seal..) is still there I'm guessing.

My guess is a completely clogged PCV coupled with lots of piston blow-by and/or multiple other issues..

 

I already explained that. I have a couple of cars which did this. Crankcase pressure was not involved in either case, fortunately.

 

Yep; agreed, thanks for the head-smack

Guess I was responding more to the OP's last post; he seems to think that was his only issue; what I'm saying is maybe it is and maybe it isn't..
Edited my last post to clarify..

 

I once bought an engine with a completely block pcv system. Do the glove test, it if fails, replace.